We all know Russians are completely crazy so this guy doing this shouldn’t really come as that big a surprise to us but even so, it’s still completely and utterly mental that this guy would want to risk his life just to look like a complete and utter badass , because I’m pretty sure he could do these exercises pretty much anywhere and it would still have the same effect.

I’m not a big workout guy though so maybe I’m wrong about that, but I’m pretty sure even if there were some gains to be had from performing these exercises here then the cons outweigh the pros because you could quite easily die just by slipping or something, which you don’t really have that much control over.

Still, I guess he almost completed his goal of looking like a complete and utter badass and having the ladies are queuing up round the block for him now, it’s just a shame that the video he produced to go along with it is so laughable that everyone is probably just going to think he’s a twat. Honestly, why would you put this dumb backing track on it and have a scene where he yells ‘DJ, spin that record!’

This guy needs a good PR guy fast.

Golf isn’t one on my favourite sports by any means, but every now and again something like this happens and it completely blows it out of the water.

Actually that’s wrong – I’m pretty sure nothing like this has ever happened in the history of golf so it really is something to write home about. Rory McIlroy was playing in the TOUR championship over the weekend and he hit one of the craziest golf shots in history – yeah even crazier than this one – when he teed of and managed to hit the ball into a tree so perfectly that it bounced off and landed in a fan’s pocket. Yeah, I told you it wasn’t something you see every day right.

Nobody really knew what to do in this situation because let’s be honest it had never ever happened before. A judge came over and decided that it would be a drop shot and the round continued. McIlroy still managed to get par because he’s an absolute killer.

Historically, when it comes to boobs, two have always sufficed but not for wannabe TV star Jasmine Tridevil who just spent $20,000 on surgery to get a third breast built between her two natural ones.

Jasmine went through 50-60 refusals from doctors before finding one ethically corrupt enough to turn her into a real life version of the three-breasted prostitute from Total Recall.

As well as holding out for a TV gig, Jasmine hopes her third boob will also keep men away from her. Surely there’s plenty easier ways to make yourself unattractive than to get a third boob? People usually like boobs.

I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore.

Sadly, Jasmine’s mum and sister won’t speak to her and her dad is ashamed of her. Not a great look being the dad of the girl with three tits, I suppose.

But if you think that’s shocking, wait until you see the LA woman with officially the worst boob job of all time (NSFW).

We always knew David Hasselhoff was awesome, but we’ve never seen that point hammered home harder than it is in this clip from upcoming movie ‘Stretch’, in which he plays a completely loony version of himself:

The film stars the Hoff, Jessica Alba, Ray Liotta and Patrick Wilson and is out later in the year.

It could be the most epic thing he’s ever done, if we don’t count the time he sang The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song.

We’ve seen a bunch of ridiculous red cards on Sick Chirpse before – check out the top 5 most ridiculous red cards of all time here if you don’t believe us – but this could be the stupidest one of all time. It doesn’t even really make any sense at all, which is probably why we’re so perplexed by it.

It happened over in Honduras where Marathon were playing Real Sociedad over the weekend when the Marathon goalkeeper Junior Morales – who had already been booked – gathered up a loose ball in the area. As he punted the ball upfield, who lightly touched the bum of the opposing forward player, which probably would go unnoticed by most referees over the world, even if it is a bit weird.

Not this ref called Manuel Zeleya though. He immediately bolted over to his linesman to discuss the offence and ended up booking Morales again, sending him off and even awarding a penalty to Real Sociedad which just seems completely and utterly insane to me. Classic referee though – always wants all the attention to be about him.

The Real Sociedad forward Henry Martinez did end up missing the spot kick and the game ended 1-1 so some justice was done, but it still seems completely off the chart that this happened. Let’s hope that Marathon fans ar a bit more forgiving than Brazilian lower league fans, otherwise Manuel Zeleya might end up decapitated like this poor referee.

BASE jumping has to be one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever heard of – I mean literally so much can go wrong with them - but for some people it’s nowhere near scary enough.

I don’t know who these people are – other then the fact that they’re French – but I wouldn’t want to fuck with them as they clearly have no fear. In order to ‘get the most out of BASE jumping’ they decided to set up a massive catapult which propels them into the air over a massive cliff. Mentalists.

It seems like looking like a blow up doll is all the rage now, with people coming out  almost every week with that look but these two 25 year old twins from Sweden have taken it up a notch once again by trying to look identical to each other in every way.

In order to do this Sara and Emma Koponen have the exact same diet, the exact same workout routine and have also had the exact same plastic surgery on their boobs (costing $10,000 and going from A To E cups) and the exact same filler injections on their lips. They plan on spending a whole lot more on surgery to continue this pursuit and are currently looking at butt impacts, dental veneers and rhinoplasty in their pursuit of ‘perfection’.

To be fair, they do look pretty much exactly the same aside from their hair colours which I’m assuming is deliberate, but the real question has to be why the hell do they even want to do this? Some people are so weird. Baffling.

Sara explained their obsession in pretty huge detail in her own words:

As twins we have to look the same, people have expected that from us since we were children.

We are both addicted with modifying our bodies – but we have to make sure we both do the same things otherwise we won’t match.

We are obsessed with surgery and the pursuit of perfection – for us there’s no such thing as too much.

We were always skinny and boyish with small boobs.

We were shy and preferred playing basketball to chasing after boys.

From a young age we dreamed about changing our appearance.

There was one girl in our class who had big boobs and we fixated on her – we were so jealous.

We were so self-conscious about our boobs we grew our hair long to cover our chests.

Our first boob jobs cost £3,000 each. Emma went first and was there waiting for me when I woke up from surgery.

We immediately felt better about our bodies – and we got a lot of attention.

Dad told us he was disappointed in us, but our mum approved and our friends were jealous.

 

We really wanted to go bigger, to have super-sized boobs. Our surgeon recommended we go to a D cup, which we did.

We went back to the surgeon and said we still didn’t feel big enough. He told us he could take us to an E-cup – but no bigger.

We love our boobs but we know there’s other parts of our body where we can make adjustments.

We had lip fillers because we had small lips and we wanted to get a more fake look.

The work we have done is for us – it’s not about getting men to like us, it’s about becoming our idea of perfection.

Some people see our appearance and make assumptions about the kind of people we are, but often they are wrong.

We have lots of plans for future surgery – our goal is to look as artificial as a doll by the time we are finished.

It’s very important for us to make our dreams come true and we have many things we want to do with our body to change it.

So I guess that answers my question as to why the hell they would want to do this – it’s a great insight into the mind of a crazy person right there. There’s a video about them below you can watch as well. They’ve now moved to Marbella to really show off their bodies so if you’re ever in the area look out for them.

No joke – naturalist and wildlife filmmaker Paul Rosolie will be putting on a custom-made snake-proof suit and allowing himself to be swallowed alive by an anaconda in a special programme for the Discovery Channel airing on December 7^th.

Naturally, pro-animal rights/snakes groups aren’t too happy, claiming the cruel experiment will stress the snake out. When the snake eventually regurgitates Paul, it will rob the creature of essential digestive acids from its stomach and of course, it won’t be receiving any nutrients from swallowing Paul.

We can’t be the only ones kinda slightly hoping that this goes disastrously wrong and Paul actually gets eaten, can we? Would make a great feature for our Darwin Awards section, that’s for sure. I mean what the hell is a snake-proof suit anyway? Paul is dead meat, for sure.

Here’s a video of a python regurgitating a whole dog, as a sign of things to come.

Instead of stealing cigarettes from their parents or getting some older kids they met at the bus stop to go and buy them a pack like the generations before them, lazy youths these days have turned to a new vice – smoking Twix bars. For those of you who want to try this at home (protip: don’t) all you have to do is get your Twix, bite both the ends off and then light it like you would anything else. There’s even two in a pack just in case you screw up the first one.

This video is proof that humans are actually devolving over time. Also why the hell is this kid opening the video by showing us a sock full of rice? His Mum is going to be well angry when she goes to make dinner and realises her blockhead offspring has used half of the ingredients to create the world’s ugliest draught excluder. She’s going to be doubly pissed when she realises he’s smeared melted chocolate all over her shower curtain. Clearly all the molten biscuit fumes have already damaged his poor pre-pubescent brain.

After an entire minute he finally decides to actually smoke the thing and our lego-haired friend complains about the smell, the taste and he isn’t even inhaling properly so there is clearly no point to this at all. His weird rice sock is draped around his neck like a poor man’s stole. It’s not even filmed the right way round.

As this video shows, there’s no better way to bond with your Dad than kick back in your garden and inhale some burnt Twix together. Props to him though, his son had obviously shown an interest in this crazy fad and he’s probably just trying to experience it himself and see what all the fuss is about, which is more that can be said for some parents. Either that or we’re witnessing a mid-life crisis unfold before our very eyes.

Finally, check out these bad boys – hanging out in a dark car park, talking in hushed voices and generally acting as though they’re up to something super illegal. The main kid with the braces keeps glancing over his shoulder and you almost feel scared that they’ll be caught at any second. That’s before you realise that you’re watching a couple of numbskulls smoking a fucking chocolate bar and you don’t actually care.

If you’re not impressed by the Twix fiasco then maybe you’ll change your mind once you realise that these geniuses also apparently made the world’s first Smarties joint. According to every other “How To Smoke Smarties” video on the internet, they’re definitely doing it wrong which just adds to the second-hand embarrassment. It’s also apparent that Smarties in the US aren’t the colourful sugar-coated chocolates we’re used to in the UK, but seem to be some sort of sour candy with a similar texture to Parma Violets. Though seemingly harmless, students were actually suspended from school in New Mexico this week for snorting the very same sweets.

Doctor Christian Jessen still hasn’t replied to my tweet about the health risks associated with smoking a Twix but I’m guessing it’s not going to be good. Pretty much everyone involved in these admits that it tastes rank and there is no evidence of anyone ever getting high from one. There is obviously no reason for people to be smoking a Twix so please spare a kind thought for all the innocent chocolate bars wasted by these idiot children and that one guy’s Dad.

Can’t be too sure but I think this is the most brutal game of rock, paper, scissors we’ve ever witnessed in our lifetimes. Our ears are ringing just watching these two Russian dudes slap each other upside the head and break out in laughter like their faces aren’t swelling and turning purple:

Well, as long as they’re enjoying themselves… More Russian japes in the Ultimate Meanwhile In Russia video.

The Silver Surfer has always been one of my favourite Marvel characters but is woefully underused, mainly because he’s actually really boring despite having a completely cool aesthetic. He’s also not as marketable for a sex toy as members of the Avengers, which is probably a big minus for Marvel’s executive board.

Nevertheless, one artist named Cris Alex has decided to creep us out massively with his rendition of the Silver Surfer. Check it out below, and look real hard if you can’t figure out what’s so weird about it:

Did you get it? That’s right, that isn’t actually a cartoon drawing of the Silver Surfer, but a real life man dressed up as him. You can only really tell if you notice the underwear – like the Silver Surfer ever wears underwear – or the faint outline of his toes but it definitely is a real person and can be proved by the picture below. This is the one that is going to freak you out:

Gross huh? I don’t think we’ll ever look at the Silver Surfer the same way again. I mean I always thought there was no way he wore pants.

There are a few places in the world that we’d rather not live; at our parent’s houses, everywhere Domino’s doesn’t deliver and this entire list of ridiculously creepy places. Fuck knows how people survive without a decent pizza delivery. Our latest addition to the nope list is this more-than-slightly disturbing village up in the mountains of Japan, which is home to 35 regular human residents and over 100 lifeless scarecrows. It’s like something straight out of a horror film, except worse because it’s real.

The terrifying scarecrows are made by Tsukimi Ayano, who returned to her hometown from Osaka 13 years ago to care for her elderly father. Although she is one of the younger inhabitants of the abandoned village Nagoro, she’s not exactly the picture of youth at age 65.

Ayano started creating her creepy little friends after some dickhead crows were caught eating up her radish seeds whilst she was trying her hand at farming. One scarecrow lead to another and before she knew it, there were over 100 life-size dolls taking over the town as though this was a real life episode of Goosebumps. She explains that crafting the new occupants helps fill her time in the near-vacant suburb and many of them are based on the likeness of neighbours who have either died or left. Luckily the weird dolls bring some much needed tourism to the empty village, although we’re not too sure why anyone who has ever seen a scary film and values their life would want to be anywhere near this place. Their creator admits that “if I hadn’t made these scarecrows, people would just drive by.”

The mannequin imposters are absolutely everywhere: the bus stop is full of pretend people waiting to get a ride to nowhere and an abandoned primary school is now filled with stuffed staff and children, forever stuck in the classroom with no break time or lunch. Ayano even takes one in the car with her for the 90-minute trek to the nearest supermarket.

Nagoro is just one of the 10,000 villages in Japan that’s gradually turning from a thriving community to a deserted ghost town due to low birth rates, increasing immigration and all of younger generations skipping off to the big cities to live their dreams and make their fortunes. It’s estimated that by 2060, four in ten Japanese citizens will be over 65 years old. Evidently everyone needs to stop humping robots and start fucking each other.

Bit of background on Tim Sharky – he was born in 1965 in New Zealand, was given up for adoption at birth, had a really rough childhood and eventually moved to Australia and became a notoriously fearless and violent loan shark.

Eventually he set up a second home in Thailand, where the Thai police quickly began fucking with him. Sharky may be a bit of a head-case, but the police there should be ashamed of themselves if what he’s saying in this video is true (we have a feeling it is).

Here he is beginning his quest for justice:

Now here’s some footage a Russian tourist finding out exactly why you shouldn’t mess with Thai people.

A few weeks ago we posted a video of some American surfers catching some waves in a New York snow storm. At the time I was fairly impressed with their idiocy but this week they have been trumped big time by some Russian surfers with unimaginable disregard for their core temperatures.

These ice cool fellas from Vladivostok braved -10 degrees Centigrade just for kicks. I have a feeling there are a lot of nutters in that section of Russia, they’re just 140 km from North Korea and 50 km from Mongolia, what a mix of madness that is.

Russia can get pretty nippy at the best of times but Vladivostok is currently in the grip of a snow infested cold snap. So before I put you onto the surfing pictures, here’s a couple of images of down town Vladivostok taken in the last few days:

Yeah, so no mucking about from the weather man there then.

Surfing would be the last thing on my mind. Well, to be honest it wouldn’t be the last thing on my mind, it just wouldn’t be on my mind at all. Apparently these guys were out there surfing for an hour. Insane.

Next I’m hoping to see some ice swimming in the coldest town on earth: Oymyakon. Although I think that might actually involve people dying so scrub that.

It’s Christmas, which means Miley Cyrus is giving even less of a crap than usual and going all in on the #FreeTheNipple social media campaign with this photo she dropped on Instagram last night. She’s consistent, we’ll give her that.

Check out the NSFW version on the next page.

No way of knowing what exactly kicked this off, sounds like it was something about a note the couple left on the psycho neighbour’s car. I guess if it was a particularly rude or aggressive note they can’t be too surprised at the onslaught of bricks practically tearing their house down. Pretty frightening either way:

Imagine living in between this gal and the troll neighbour from hell.

Chris Brown incited a riot on Saturday when he performed at a San Jose nightclub, and we don’t mean in a good everyone going crazy kind of way, we mean in an actual godforsaken riot kind of way.

Five people were shot – not including Chris –  when gunshots rang out as he was performing at around 1:20 a.m. It clearly wasn’t part of the show as Chris himself looks terrified – and who can blame him as he’s pretty much annoyed everyone in the entire world with his behaviour – in the video below and the whole place goes into chaos after the shots are fried. The wounded five were rushed to hospital. A couple of other people were injured too in the commotion but not as seriously as those ones.

A bunch of people got detained at the club but there’s no word yet on how many people have been arrested or the motivation for the attack. It seems like the gunmen weren’t targeting Chris Brown though surprisingly and it was some other beef with someone else in the club.

Considering Chris Brown is performing there too, it’s worth nothing that the nightclub looks kind of budget.

We’ve already been acquainted with the shady characters that make up the 5 Worst People on the London Underground, but how about we check out some actual hard evidence of unacceptable public transport behaviour around the world.

Here are 7 activities you’d do well not to engage in while using the train/bus.

7. Fighting

Spoilt for choice here, but let’s go with this video from Aldgate East station last year. Can’t we all  just stick to our side of the arm rest?

Completely faking that you have a significant other is a very low thing to do, but if you’re going to do it then you might as well be convincing. There’s a tragic new app on the market called Invisible Boyfriend or Invisible Girlfriend, depending on the preferred gender of your made-up partner, that you can message as though it’s a real romantic companion for the sweet price of $24.99, which is roughly about seventeen quid.

The app has various customisation options in order to create the fake fanciful friend exactly to your liking and it allows you to choose various options such as what they look like, their name, age, interests and even the back story behind how you both met. Perhaps one day in the near future, technology would be advanced enough to have a character customisation screen like in the Sims or any MMORPG. Actually that’s a bit too Black Mirror, maybe everyone should stop being so picky and make the effort to leave the house once every so often to chat up real human beings like in the good old days.

As it turns out, the bot on the other end of the Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend app isn’t a computer at all and is a genuine person whose job it is to reply to your texts as though you’re all loved up, which is honestly a bit fucked up. For those on the other end it must be pretty weird too because not only would it be your profession to pretend to like this complete stranger who was paying you to emotionally sext them back, it would also be a pretty weird job to have explain to others because it’s essentially a combination of being both an online customer service representative and an escort. Our bets are that in a few months there will be a story along the lines of “she was my Invisible Girlfriend and now we’ve eloped in Vegas” making it’s rounds across the media where two idiots convince themselves that the love they faked for weeks evolved into genuine feelings.

A lot of people have criticised the app stating that it would probably be easier to get one of your mates to impersonate being your lover for free. That’s all well and good if you actually have friends but the sort of people who feel the need to fake their love life are probably lonely types with nobody to talk to. Or compulsive liars. Or those afraid to come out to their families (in which case the Invisible Boyfriend or Girlfriend may actually be a genuinely helpful tool).

We would trial the app ourselves to show you guys how jokes it is but there is no way we’re wasting real money when we could just buy ourselves a months subscription to World of Warcraft or a pizza to cry into instead.

Some things should genuinely consider eradicating themselves from existence – this gross worm that crawls its way out of a dead spider’s stomach is on the top of that list but blow up sex dolls that are based on the likeness of My Little Pony kids’ show characters are a close second. We apologise in advance for submitting you to the equestrian abomination that you are about to witness, but it’s probably your own fault for clicking in the first place.

The bronies have taken it too far this time because China are making them large quantities of bootleg inflatable sex ponies that are available to order for $99 each if you purchase a load of them. Their website mentions that the factory is capable of producing up to two thousand monstrosities a month if the market is there. At 5’9, these things aren’t small either – just take a look at the picture of the overly happy guy without shoes standing next to one. This particularly horrible specimen is based off the Rainbow Dash character but luckily they do custom orders if this isn’t the right pony for your unpleasant intimate needs.

There are some things that you should just not be sexually attracted to and anything remotely to do with children is all of them. We’re fairly certain no other kids show has engaged such a large number of perverse adult males, even the older series didn’t seem to attract this much attention from fully grown men. Or maybe, perhaps due to the lack of Internet back in the 80s they just managed to keep the secret to themselves.

If for some reason you need even more proof that bronies are the weirdest people to grace the earth, watch this particularly tragic video of some guy casually spending his Christmas with a computerised animation of the Fluttershy pony. It’s horrific.